Intro & Indisputable Chieftain Bloody Gavel's autobiography

The Tragic Lives & Mythic Times

OF

The Fatally Flawed

Peppermint Tribe!

Yes, I am from the Peppermint Tribe

Where people come and then they die

To hail me, oh, hail me

With tomahawks of candy cane

We split their heads and eat the brains

Hail me, oh, hail me

With guns of chalk we write our names

We wrote the book, we author pain

Hail me, oh, hail me

The TV speak in murderous rhymes

The clues we leave and hope you'll find

Hail me, oh, hail me

Yes, we come from the Peppermint Tribe

Where losers come to fix their mind

To hail me, oh, hail me

With giant walls are sugar made

We close you in and build the grave

Hail me, oh, hail me

Peppermint Tribe ~ Saigon Kick

Authorized & Indisputable Historical Records

Revised and Abridged under the authority of The Indisputable Chieftain, Bloody Gavel

Worshipful Protectors A.D. 2024

Bloody Gavel

Indisputable Chieftain

A.D. 2019

Bloody Socket

Chaplain

A.D. 2019

Bloody Cunt*

Human Resources

A.D. 2022

*Denotes Female Tribesman

Autobiography:  Bloody Gavel

Greetings.  I am known to the people of my community as The Honorable Judge William Bradley.  I don’t intend to waste your time by offering masturbatory pontifications about the duties I perform in that capacity. 

I am far more interesting than that…

Among the Distinguished and Earned members of The Peppermint Tribe, I am known as The Indisputable Chieftain, Bloody Gavel.  I was justified in my acceptance of this title only after performing the Ceremony of Indisputably Divine Transference.  The secrets of that ceremony are only revealed to the Worshipful Protectors of the Tribe and an Honorable Host of Flesh-bound Succession; a Tribesman who has been carefully chosen and groomed for this honor by the Indisputable Chieftain himself.  When the Ritual of Indisputable Retirement of His Honorable Flesh-bound Vessel has been performed and the Indisputable Chieftain’s body is dead, the Honorable Host of Flesh-bound Succession and Worshipful Protectors of the Tribe are left alone to perform the Ceremony of Indisputably Divine Transference.  During this ceremony the Indisputable Chieftain's immortal consciousness is transferred from the confines of his previous body to that of the Honorable Host of Flesh-bound Succession whose consciousness is made one with every Indisputable Chieftain that came before him.  
In the capacity of Indisputable Chieftain I am privileged to bestow judgment in the three categories of sacred competition as a service to Tribesmen. 

These categories are:

1.      1.   Torture

2.      2.   Murder

3.      3.   Brutality

I evaluate torture based on three criteria; longevity, creativity, and cleanliness. 

I evaluate murder based on esthetic values and integrity of the artwork.

Brutality competitions and the respect a high mark commands are widely accepted as the most appealing and highly sought after honors among Distinguished and Earned members of The Peppermint Tribe. There has never been, nor will there ever be, an established criteria by which one act of brutality shall be measured against another.  A brutality exposition’s marks and honors can only be determined by how the exposition makes me feel.  Often, I will withhold judgment for several weeks in order to determine the lasting psychological rewards of a brutality exposition.  

I reserve this privilege as well as many others, and my opinion is regarded with the utmost respect because I am both the founding father of The Peppermint Tribe and every Indisputable Chieftain that has ever been.