Autobiography: Bloody Socket

Autobiography:  Bloody Socket

My Christian name is Lester David Randall.  I experience shame when the outside world obligates me to answer to anything other than the name I have been given by the Indisputable Chieftain, Bloody Gavel.  My Tribesman designation is Bloody Socket.  I received my Tribesman designation only after being baptized in human blood that I had the distinct pleasure to spill with the tools of my worldly profession.  I am honored to serve as Chaplain to Distinguished and Earned Members of the Peppermint Tribe at the Indisputable Chieftain, Bloody Gavel’s pleasure.  When the time comes and my services no longer serve the Indisputable Chieftain’s pleasures, I should consider it a great honor and an obligation of my baptism, to surrender the tools of my trade; with which I have tortured, murdered, and brutalized many worldly humans, and from which my Tribesman designation is derived, so that the Indisputable Chieftain may express his displeasure by claiming my life in such a way that honor will again be restored to the Worshipful Protector’s office of the Chaplain.   

I am the sole proprietor of a worldly business called Randy Dave’s engine service.  The legitimate business that operates out of Randy Dave’s supports my worldly lifestyle.  Randy Dave’s is also home to a state-of-the-art clandestine laboratory designed to my specifications with the sole purpose of manufacturing methamphetamine which provides the bulk of Peppermint Tribes financial and human resources.  Randy Dave’s Peppermint Ice is also the preferred, recreational drug of choice among Tribesman, and is provided to Distinguished and Earned members of The Peppermint Tribe free-of-charge.

I was raised to the office of Chaplain after the previous Chaplain, Bloody Knuckles failed to perform the primary duty of his position.  The incident occurred when the Indisputable Chieftain Bloody Gavel discovered evidence of worldly cultural contamination in the Sacred Temple in the form of a severed finger still adorned with decorative jewelry.  In what has since been proclaimed an Indisputable Resolution of High Honor, disgraced Chaplain Bloody Knuckles immediately demanded that I sever from his arms, both of his hands, so that honor could be restored to the office of Chaplain without delay.  In an extraordinary display of brutality, the Indisputable Chieftain accepted the severed hands of Disgraced Chaplain Bloody Knuckles, and then restored honor to both the office of Chaplain and the memory of Tribesman Bloody Knuckles by forcing the bleeding stumps of the Tribesman’s arms into his mouth and drowning him to death with his own blood.  Tribesman Bloody Knuckles severed hands are still serving the Indisputable Chieftain’s pleasure by rotting at either side of the Indisputable Chieftain’s altar in the Sacred Temple.  I can only hope that my own death is provided by the Indisputable Chieftain with comparable creativity and brutality.     

I have held the High Honor of Indisputable Brutality since the evening of the Harvest Moon, A.D. 2022.  The manner by which I earned the High Honor of Indisputable Brutality is widely regarded as a decisive point in the evolution of Brutality Expositions.  I am continually honored by the Indisputable Chieftain, Bloody Gavel’s testimony of the persistent psychological rewards that he receives in the form of nightmares.